The Thief
In my former life in the shadows I would never have believed that my heart could be destroyed and rebuilt by the look in another man's eyes. I'd always made my way through life sliding from dim street to dark alley, avoiding the eyes of others, counting on going unnoticed as I planned and committed my silent crimes.
Then the often-dreaded day came when I was dragged out into the brilliant, unforgiving sunlight, blinking like a rat rustled out of some dark hole, cringing away from a multitude of eyes turned toward me. There were the curious, excited stares of those who saw the afternoon's proceedings as a sort of morbid entertainment. There was the remorseful, heartbroken gaze of my mother. Many looked upon me with disgust or anger, here and there a look of pity perhaps... But when my eyes met His my whole twitching, bleeding body reacted in shock and confusion because this "lunatic" that I was hanging beside was giving me a look of love so intense and complete that it seemed totally alien to my world. To this world!
I quickly turned away. I'd already heard all about this madman, so why should I expect Him to act normally? The word about Him had been out on the street for some time. Many considered Him dangerous because He had attracted quite a following among the gullible who were always looking for a "Messiah" to come along and solve all of their problems. That rabble followed Him everywhere; never gave the man any rest. They'd probably driven Him over the edge. I'd never bothered to go out to listen to Him. I'd learned early that I had only my own wits to rely on. I wasn't looking for a leader; political, spiritual or otherwise. I was my own man, just looking to survive and, with any luck, to get rich in the process. Later, when the rumors began to reach me that this Jesus was beginning to claim that He was God, well I wasn't surprised. It was clear He was just another mental case after all. It just reaffirmed my belief; if you don't trust anyone then you won't be disappointed.
But of course, all that was before I got caught. One stupid move and my life was over. And it's funny the way the mind works. Now I, who had been well beyond conscience most of my life, was having regrets. I, who had defied God during those times when I was even inclined to believe in Him, was suddenly fearing Him. I was about to die, I knew there was no way out of that. Through a haze of pain I could already feel life slipping away from me, draining downward with the blood and sweat.
What if it were all true after all? Was a God of infinite wrath waiting for me there in the darkness that approached? Would He greet me with a long list of my wrongs and proceed to make me wish that I were back here on this cross? I was scared alright! Why hadn't I listened to the warning voices when I was young? It had all seemed so irrelevant then. Why hadn't I at least tried to keep the Law? Surely I must have broken every one of them!
"Oh, what's the use in worrying about all that now?" I mumbled in self-disgust. "It's much too late to redeem myself. Besides," I made a frail attempt to laugh cynically, "I know myself too well for that. I could never have even begun to keep the Law! I couldn't even make myself want to! I may as well admit it. I'm guilty as sin and I deserve everything I get."
Out of some hopeless curiosity, or perhaps in search of diversion from my thoughts, I turned my head back toward Jesus and the other. Again he met me with that steady gaze of love. It was unsettling. His look contained neither admiration nor pity. It was clear to me that nothing in myself inspired that love, it just seemed to shine forth as though He were its ultimate source; as though He Himself were love. Even so, it was excruciatingly personal. The look took me in and embraced me as though I were a very small, defiant, hurt child in the arms of a strong and loving parent. I'd never spoken to this man, yet I felt He knew all about me, understood me in ways I'd never understood myself.
In a sense He seemed pathetically human dying there on His cross, but in an equal sense He didn't seem human at all. I considered the probability that I was becoming delusional in my pain but, just for a moment, a door in my mind cracked open to an astounding possibility. What if He really were God as He'd claimed? If by some crazy miracle this man was really God then the unthinkable must be true... God could love me. Did love me! For once in my life I risked being made a fool and allowed myself to hope, almost to believe. I felt a tentative melting at the edges of the ice block of my soul.
"If you are the Christ come down off the cross! Save yourself!" The crowd was taunting Him, their harsh, jeering voices grated. I felt amazement at their blindness. How could they miss what even I was plainly seeing? Even the other criminal was challenging Him. Was the man insane? On the brink of death did he dare to despise his only Hope? "Don't you fear God?" I called out to him. "You and I deserve to be here, but this man is innocent!"
I dared to lift my eyes to Jesus. I'd heard that He had spoken of being King of a Kingdom not of this world. Of course I'd considered it all an amusing product of His madness. But He and I were leaving this world today. Was it possible? "Jesus," I called, "Remember me when You come into Your Kingdom!" I flinched for I had spoken boldly, impulsively, but the continued warmth of His gaze reassured me.
He was a picture of weakness, of broken helplessness as He hung there covered with dirt and blood. Then His words rang out, filled with power and authority. "Truly I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise." A totally unfamiliar feeling of wonder and joy overcame me on that cross because...I believed Him. He was God. He loved me and He was going to take me into His Kingdom.
I trusted Him completely, and yet as the sky grew darker above us my spirit grew troubled with unanswered questions. Why me? I had never done anything for this Jesus and there was certainly no time left to do anything for Him in the future. Why should He honor me in this way, that I, a common, vulgar criminal, should enter the Kingdom with the King? I had always heard that Jesus' standards were impossibly high. He had even tangled with the religious leaders, telling them that they were not nearly good enough, that God required perfection even of the secret mind and heart! I'd had a good laugh over that, imagining the looks on their pious faces.
I had no doubt that He had decided to have mercy on me, yet I was humbled, embarrassed, my life lay behind me a pathetic waste. I watched Him dying there beside me and I knew somehow that He didn't have to do this. He could easily have stopped it all at any moment. He was deliberately choosing this agony, indignity and death and, though I didn't understand, I felt in my deepest heart that He was doing it all for me.
Yes, I died that day, the day that my life began. There was no darkness in death; only a glorified Jesus escorting me into my new home. Soon everything was made clear. I had experienced the absolute purity of God's grace. In God's unique economy my criminal, wasted life became a priceless thing, a perfect portrait of His completely undeserved love for the whole human race.
In my depravity I'd certainly never done anything to cloud the issue. No one could say, "He was a good man, deserving of mercy. He was responsible, a good picture of what a Christian should be." I was a picture of only one thing, a desperate sinner in the hands of a LOVING God. In my case the glory clearly goes to God alone. My story has given hope to the hopelessly lost through the ages. My story has brought praise to the lips of those with the insight to see just how unworthy we all really are. You could even say I've been instrumental in a great many "deathbed conversions".
Most of you have opportunities that I didn't have. You may live long lives with the Lord at home in your hearts. He may work wonders in and through you. But if you would truly be a reflection of God's glory, be a picture of His grace. Never allow what you do or don't manage to accomplish in your life to distort this picture. Realize that His love for you is a gift, completely undeserved forever. Nothing that you can do will repay Him in the least, for it is your basic helplessness that is the proving ground for the perfection of His love!
When you stand on the jagged edge of the chasm of eternity, all of the issues of life become trivial and fall away. Then you my friend become the thief on the cross, helpless to save yourself, but with a dying Jesus hanging beside you with eternal love in His eyes.
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
1 John 1:9 and God's Grace
1 John 1:9 and the Christian Experience
To imagine that one COULD keep accurate and effective short accounts with God is, when you really think about it, the height of arrogance. While we live in this world, in this flesh, we are in a constant Romans 7 experience until the day we die. It isn’t just our actions...but our thoughts and our attitudes...our very beings...that are filthy rags in His sight apart from grace. In ourselves we have NO “good enough” moments. Where do we get the idea that He wants us to “do our best” to keep accounts with him...keep our forgiveness up to date...or to work at staying “in fellowship” with Him. When I look at humanity...at myself...with any honesty whatsoever the very thought completely exhausts me. There is no rest or peace in this because sin isn’t something that we “do” in “instances”...it is the very state of our flesh condition.
Certainly this teaching keeps the most honest and self-aware of non-believers away from Christianity as it is typically portrayed. The prospect of a life spent constantly bouncing in and out of fellowship with a disapproving God who will only really be our Friend, Lover and Ally at such rare moments when we have somehow managed to root out, confess, sort out, identify, own up to and completely surrender every speck of our sin, rebellion, fear, selfishness, bad attitude and wrong thinking, is just too much for them. As it should be. Christ promises that if we come to Him He will give us peace with God and REST.
Many Christians try to strike a sort of compromise by imagining that now that Christ has saved us God isn’t nearly so picky as He once was. He’ll be happy enough as long as we try to confess and repent of the “big ones”. Where does that come from? God is still a Holy God and there are NO moments when YOU are good enough to have fellowship with Him. The very moment that you have confessed and “sort-of” surrendered (which is the best that any of us can really do if we are honest) any particular sin or shortcoming to Him you are still completely steeped in sin because you remain in a condition of “flesh” as long as you live in this world. Either God has taken care of the WHOLE sin issue FOR you and you now exist in a constant state of grace and true fellowship with Him no matter what or how you happen to be doing at the moment...or else you are utterly lost and truthfully you can have NO moments of fellowship...no fellowship at all with a Holy God. There is no compromise...no “in-between”. There IS no Christian bar of soap and there is no need for a Christian bar of soap. There is only the blood of Jesus which was shed “once for ALL” to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
There IS no “out of fellowship” for a Christian. We live in a state of His constant love, grace, care and approval in Christ. A Christian who is completely honest with himself will have to admit that there are ALWAYS areas that we are not yet ready to surrender to God. There are things that we are not anywhere near ready to even recognize or face in ourselves...much less change. If we believe we are out of fellowship because of these things...then we must face being forever and always out of fellowship. The whole concept of being out of fellowship with God because of our sins and then confessing and somehow getting “more forgiveness” for them IF we abandon them sincerely and completely enough...and thus getting “back in good” with God is the biggest source of deception in the typical Christian life. It causes a great and constant sense of “unease” with God. This leads to a lack of trust in a God we fear is constantly disapproving of us unless WE manage somehow to change our own hearts and attitudes to bring ourselves back in line with Him... And the emphasis here gets placed squarely back on US and off of Him and the totality and perfection of what He did for us in love and mercy.
It is only walking in the Spirit that gives us the power or even the desire to resist any of that constant negative pull of our flesh. How do we walk in the Spirit? By cleaning ourselves up sufficiently so that the Spirit will come and work in us? No...it says that BY walking in the Spirit we resist the flesh. We’re too often taught to clean up the flesh and “get forgiven enough” to have access to the Spirit. We’ve got it backwards. How DO we walk in the Spirit? Only by recognizing the totality of grace; His great and perfect love for us that is ALWAYS there no matter how or what we are doing. It is firmly believing that He is always there...always in a PERFECT fellowship with us that depends only on Him. This leads to a sense of true peace with God and to TRUST, faith, hope. These are the things that soften our hearts and lead to a sincere and genuine love response to Him that will, in His timing, effect those changes in us that He has in mind.
What then do we do with 1 John 1:9? First of all...I challenge you to find any other verse referring to the New Covenant in Christ that can be taken to mean that we need to somehow obtain, appropriate or apply more forgiveness “each time we sin” and keep short accounts with God. You are welcome to try but I haven’t found any. 1 John 1:9 stands alone and this is why we are constantly confronted with just this one verse. Now if we were meant to be constantly confessing, repenting and getting forgiven so that we can return to fellowship...wouldn’t that be a very, very important, even crucial concept for us all to know and understand? Why then is it only mentioned in one verse in one letter to one church?
It is my belief that this verse has been completely misinterpreted and subsequently used by the enemy to create this constant sense of unease, lack of peace and distrust in the Christian heart. There were those in Paul’s day, some even in the Church, who simply did not believe in the whole concept of sin. Paul was simply saying that you cannot BE saved if you do not believe in the reality of sin because if there is no sin there is no need for a Savior. If you say that you have no sin...you are believing a lie...the Truth is not in you because you cannot trust Him for your salvation apart from an acknowledgement that you are a sinner and need a Savior. But if we confess our sins, are aware that we are sinners unable to save ourselves, He is then faithful to forgive...to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is a salvation verse! That’s what happens once and for all at the point of salvation...not over and over again moment by moment by moment. When His blood covered our sins...they were ALL in the future. When His sacrifice cleansed us from ALL our unrighteousness it was all in the future. The sin issue between ourselves and Him is over...settled once for all at the moment we accept His sacrifice for our own salvation. It is NOT understanding and believing this that causes us to perceive a distance between ourselves and Him that isn’t really there. It causes lack of trust. Often it causes us to avoid Him, to run and hide from Him when we need Him most. When our hearts are cold, our attitudes are bad, we’re either feeling rebellious and don’t even want to change a thing or we’re feeling afraid and we know we CAN’T change a thing. Only the unfailing embrace of His total grace and love could possibly reach deep enough to touch any of that...but we run...we hide in fear like Adam and Eve in the garden... We go back to square one and act as though Christ never came and died for us at all. Exactly what the enemy wants.
Yes, there will be times when we feel distant from Him because we are obsessed with something else. Perhaps a sin or perhaps just life. But that is our perception...not reality. The cure is to acknowledge the truth that He is totally there...to allow ourselves to experience the love and grace that IS...to trust that we have been given the free gift of peace with God in Christ. There may be times when we tell Him that we miss Him...that we want to feel closer...that we want Him to break the chains that some sins and desires seem to have had us bound in because we have finally been brought to the necessary point of seeing the ugliness of them, feeling hurt, weary and tired of them. There will be times when we do feel sorry, deeply sorry...and there is nothing at all wrong with pouring our hearts out to Him and telling Him so. NOT in order to receive forgiveness or to “get back into fellowship” but to focus on the fact that we ARE already totally forgiven, loved and accepted and to receive His comfort and peace. To reaffirm our belief in total grace. To remind ourselves of who we are in Him and all He is to us. To have our sorrows transformed into genuine gratitude and joy. This is NOT getting back into fellowship...it is recognizing what has been true all along. It is learning to trust in His unshakeable, unchangeable love and grace. It is coming to the deep realization that it doesn’t depend on us apart from our initial recognition of our desperate need of Him and our acceptance, once and for all, of His gift of grace and salvation. Therein lies faith and trust. No trust whatsoever in our own selves, our wayward hearts, mixed motives, unpredictable emotions or our weak, half-hearted efforts...but complete trust in Him.
To imagine that one COULD keep accurate and effective short accounts with God is, when you really think about it, the height of arrogance. While we live in this world, in this flesh, we are in a constant Romans 7 experience until the day we die. It isn’t just our actions...but our thoughts and our attitudes...our very beings...that are filthy rags in His sight apart from grace. In ourselves we have NO “good enough” moments. Where do we get the idea that He wants us to “do our best” to keep accounts with him...keep our forgiveness up to date...or to work at staying “in fellowship” with Him. When I look at humanity...at myself...with any honesty whatsoever the very thought completely exhausts me. There is no rest or peace in this because sin isn’t something that we “do” in “instances”...it is the very state of our flesh condition.
Certainly this teaching keeps the most honest and self-aware of non-believers away from Christianity as it is typically portrayed. The prospect of a life spent constantly bouncing in and out of fellowship with a disapproving God who will only really be our Friend, Lover and Ally at such rare moments when we have somehow managed to root out, confess, sort out, identify, own up to and completely surrender every speck of our sin, rebellion, fear, selfishness, bad attitude and wrong thinking, is just too much for them. As it should be. Christ promises that if we come to Him He will give us peace with God and REST.
Many Christians try to strike a sort of compromise by imagining that now that Christ has saved us God isn’t nearly so picky as He once was. He’ll be happy enough as long as we try to confess and repent of the “big ones”. Where does that come from? God is still a Holy God and there are NO moments when YOU are good enough to have fellowship with Him. The very moment that you have confessed and “sort-of” surrendered (which is the best that any of us can really do if we are honest) any particular sin or shortcoming to Him you are still completely steeped in sin because you remain in a condition of “flesh” as long as you live in this world. Either God has taken care of the WHOLE sin issue FOR you and you now exist in a constant state of grace and true fellowship with Him no matter what or how you happen to be doing at the moment...or else you are utterly lost and truthfully you can have NO moments of fellowship...no fellowship at all with a Holy God. There is no compromise...no “in-between”. There IS no Christian bar of soap and there is no need for a Christian bar of soap. There is only the blood of Jesus which was shed “once for ALL” to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
There IS no “out of fellowship” for a Christian. We live in a state of His constant love, grace, care and approval in Christ. A Christian who is completely honest with himself will have to admit that there are ALWAYS areas that we are not yet ready to surrender to God. There are things that we are not anywhere near ready to even recognize or face in ourselves...much less change. If we believe we are out of fellowship because of these things...then we must face being forever and always out of fellowship. The whole concept of being out of fellowship with God because of our sins and then confessing and somehow getting “more forgiveness” for them IF we abandon them sincerely and completely enough...and thus getting “back in good” with God is the biggest source of deception in the typical Christian life. It causes a great and constant sense of “unease” with God. This leads to a lack of trust in a God we fear is constantly disapproving of us unless WE manage somehow to change our own hearts and attitudes to bring ourselves back in line with Him... And the emphasis here gets placed squarely back on US and off of Him and the totality and perfection of what He did for us in love and mercy.
It is only walking in the Spirit that gives us the power or even the desire to resist any of that constant negative pull of our flesh. How do we walk in the Spirit? By cleaning ourselves up sufficiently so that the Spirit will come and work in us? No...it says that BY walking in the Spirit we resist the flesh. We’re too often taught to clean up the flesh and “get forgiven enough” to have access to the Spirit. We’ve got it backwards. How DO we walk in the Spirit? Only by recognizing the totality of grace; His great and perfect love for us that is ALWAYS there no matter how or what we are doing. It is firmly believing that He is always there...always in a PERFECT fellowship with us that depends only on Him. This leads to a sense of true peace with God and to TRUST, faith, hope. These are the things that soften our hearts and lead to a sincere and genuine love response to Him that will, in His timing, effect those changes in us that He has in mind.
What then do we do with 1 John 1:9? First of all...I challenge you to find any other verse referring to the New Covenant in Christ that can be taken to mean that we need to somehow obtain, appropriate or apply more forgiveness “each time we sin” and keep short accounts with God. You are welcome to try but I haven’t found any. 1 John 1:9 stands alone and this is why we are constantly confronted with just this one verse. Now if we were meant to be constantly confessing, repenting and getting forgiven so that we can return to fellowship...wouldn’t that be a very, very important, even crucial concept for us all to know and understand? Why then is it only mentioned in one verse in one letter to one church?
It is my belief that this verse has been completely misinterpreted and subsequently used by the enemy to create this constant sense of unease, lack of peace and distrust in the Christian heart. There were those in Paul’s day, some even in the Church, who simply did not believe in the whole concept of sin. Paul was simply saying that you cannot BE saved if you do not believe in the reality of sin because if there is no sin there is no need for a Savior. If you say that you have no sin...you are believing a lie...the Truth is not in you because you cannot trust Him for your salvation apart from an acknowledgement that you are a sinner and need a Savior. But if we confess our sins, are aware that we are sinners unable to save ourselves, He is then faithful to forgive...to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. This is a salvation verse! That’s what happens once and for all at the point of salvation...not over and over again moment by moment by moment. When His blood covered our sins...they were ALL in the future. When His sacrifice cleansed us from ALL our unrighteousness it was all in the future. The sin issue between ourselves and Him is over...settled once for all at the moment we accept His sacrifice for our own salvation. It is NOT understanding and believing this that causes us to perceive a distance between ourselves and Him that isn’t really there. It causes lack of trust. Often it causes us to avoid Him, to run and hide from Him when we need Him most. When our hearts are cold, our attitudes are bad, we’re either feeling rebellious and don’t even want to change a thing or we’re feeling afraid and we know we CAN’T change a thing. Only the unfailing embrace of His total grace and love could possibly reach deep enough to touch any of that...but we run...we hide in fear like Adam and Eve in the garden... We go back to square one and act as though Christ never came and died for us at all. Exactly what the enemy wants.
Yes, there will be times when we feel distant from Him because we are obsessed with something else. Perhaps a sin or perhaps just life. But that is our perception...not reality. The cure is to acknowledge the truth that He is totally there...to allow ourselves to experience the love and grace that IS...to trust that we have been given the free gift of peace with God in Christ. There may be times when we tell Him that we miss Him...that we want to feel closer...that we want Him to break the chains that some sins and desires seem to have had us bound in because we have finally been brought to the necessary point of seeing the ugliness of them, feeling hurt, weary and tired of them. There will be times when we do feel sorry, deeply sorry...and there is nothing at all wrong with pouring our hearts out to Him and telling Him so. NOT in order to receive forgiveness or to “get back into fellowship” but to focus on the fact that we ARE already totally forgiven, loved and accepted and to receive His comfort and peace. To reaffirm our belief in total grace. To remind ourselves of who we are in Him and all He is to us. To have our sorrows transformed into genuine gratitude and joy. This is NOT getting back into fellowship...it is recognizing what has been true all along. It is learning to trust in His unshakeable, unchangeable love and grace. It is coming to the deep realization that it doesn’t depend on us apart from our initial recognition of our desperate need of Him and our acceptance, once and for all, of His gift of grace and salvation. Therein lies faith and trust. No trust whatsoever in our own selves, our wayward hearts, mixed motives, unpredictable emotions or our weak, half-hearted efforts...but complete trust in Him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
